Junk

Hmm...it's been a long time. So many feelings and questions and just a whole bunch of junk. I think I've said this before, but I usually start to post and then I never finish. I think I don't finish them because I'm almost afraid in many ways to post them. Fear....I hate it. I mean it can be good, like in a respectful sort of way..But not the way I feel when I see certain people, go to Ohio, or even posting blogs.
Fear disrupted my life, for such a huge part of my life. I've struggled with it ever since I was a child. For example the word 'NO' .. I feared that answer, so I would never ask for anything in fear of that response. Crazy? Maybe so..But for the last year or so I feared many people, a state, a town/city... I feared seeing people that I might know, so much that it made me physically ill. Physically ill? You ask. Nausea, migraines, lack of appetite...just to list a few. It made me realize how much I needed to depend on Christ for strength because I had nothing but fear. Fear, Merriam-Webster defines it in the verb tense to be afraid of:to expect with alarm or to be apprehensive...
Hmm..I felt that way. Non-stop. Everywhere I went.

God is amazing.
So I'm just venting. Nothing too important, just stuff; junk.
Well, I'm off to Ohio Saturday morning to go visit my grandmother.
Please pray for her, she's...Feeling really down and is recovering from surgery.
Philippians 4:6-7