Sin

I was looking at myspaces and facebooks today..Also thinking about lots of stuff.
I was thinking about my friends, the ones I have, the ones that are gone, and just the others that sort of aren't there anymore..
And I started to think about how amazing it is when something soo traumatic can happen, and it can change lives, views...hearts. I thought about sin. How it can seem to do the same thing.

This morning I saw three cars get pulled over for speeding..I myself, a few weeks ago commited the same crime. Are we not sinning while speeding?
Cursing..Yeah..That also seems to sneak its way to the tip on my tounge...
Gossip......used to be a huge struggle for me in middle and high school..
It is simple everyday stuff right?? Like..
"hey it's okay they are small sins..nothin big?? I mean it's not like I'm gay, or killing people or sleeping around with somebodys husband.."

Why is it that we as humans, flesh, sinners, find it okay to put labels on which sin is worse than others..Isn't it ultimately up to God to be the judge of that..I mean, He's already said it is all same in his eyes..Every sin we do is sin against God..Our Father..
I would never purposely hurt my earthly father..Why hurt my Heavenly Father??
It's crazy how sin works..
It can change lives, views, and hearts..
But we can choose what we do after we sin. We can either confess it, change our mindset and attitude..Or..confess and keep on doin it.
What are you gonna do?


I decided to put this song on here..Because I liked it and I love the whole message of it..

Hey lady sitting by yourself
I can hear them say
You don’t belong here
If your man’s away
Cause we believe in a love
That has no end
So you can either tough it out
Or you can live in sin

Just when I start to think they’ve got it all wrong
That’s when I realize the truth

Maybe they’re right
You don’t belong here
You deserve to be where there are people who care
Instead of a world
That shouts from the high road
Saying “We love like God but you don’t belong here”

Hey you with the rainbow flag
I can hear them say
You don’t belong here
Not if you’re gay
Although we all fall short
I guess some still believe
Some people can fall too far
For grace to reach

Just when I start to think they’ve got it all wrong
That’s when I realize the truth

I’m not trying to decide whats right or wrong
I don’t think that job is up to me
But they’re selling passports to the gates of kingdom come
Like they’re the ones who hold the key
But they’re not

Hey you hanging on the cross
Is it really true
When they say we don’t belong
You’ve been there too
You were a friend to the prostitutes
You were a friend to thieves
All for that your blood was shed
On calvary

Just think about it..

How awesome

It's late...I have to work in 11 hours..I could go to bed and get some sleep...Still have to get up early and do the usual "grown up" things. Today was weird. I was super emotional, my thoughts were running rampant. Thoughts of Logos, my mom, my dad, the kids at Hargis.. I wanted to cry soo many times and yet my Lord comforted me every time. Gosh, I can't even explain what it was that I was feeling.....Whatever it was I didn't like it. The day got better, I spent 20 mins with my kids talking about 1 John 1:9 and God's righteousness....I can't really explain everything I said to them.. but man, they got it.......I mainly talked about that to them because, I , myself was having problems with getting into fellowship that day. God is soo crazy..I love it. After I set it aside( my out-of-fellowship-ness) and I let him use me, He reached out to those kids..It wasn't me, it was all about Him..His glory..I wonder about Paul the Apostle..How he felt in times like these..
I just feel like rambling because this is how I feel..Paul used to be Saul..Who killed Christians, didn't believe in Christ, thought he was a fake..And God put him on his face and showed him Christ..literally..... AND CHANGED Saul to Paul and ......the rest is history..So to speak. Look how God used Paul..He went from killing Christians to becoming one himself..God transformed Paul. He became an apostle for the Lord! It is soo amazing to me....To live by the sword you must die by the sword..and that's exactally what Paul did. He befriended people,they betrayed him, led them to Christ, was persecuted for it, made a few mistakes here and there, but God was with him every step of the way...Crazy..How awesome is our God..

Accomplishments

Yeah..I for some reason was inspired to post another blog. Possibly about nothing, but it really is the thought that counts. So, it's Saturday, and I feel like I've accomplished nothing today. I went to the mall today to pick up some things and I did that, but once again, not a huge accomplishment. Ohhh..But there is one thing I did get to enjoy today that I haven't had since Ohio...Chipotle..Yes, thats right, I said CHIPOTLE..Alabama finally decided to invest in a restaraunt that everyone from all over the country would like. I think it might be the last state to build one...Haven't researched that, but I might take the time to look it up..Maybe that might be my accomplishment of the day? ............Nah. Then I would really be lame. Ohh well..
I actually don't know what I am trying to accomplish.. Maybe it's how many times I can't type the word accomplishment in a blog? Or doing my laundry, cleaning my room, cleaning my car??? Who knows..Ha. Ohh me.

Let me know

Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
Cuz I feel so defeated, and I'm feeling alone
and it all seems so helpless
and i have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
with no where to land
And all I see is it could never make me happy
And all my sand castles spend their time collapsing
Let me know that hear me
Let me know your touch
Let me know that you love me
and let that be enough
It's my birthday tomorrow
No here could know I was born this Thursday 22 years ago
and I feel stuck watchin history repeating
yeah well am I just a kid whose needy
Let me know that you hear me
let me know your touch
let me know that you love me
and let that be enough

Greatness

Ya know...God is somethin.....Last night I met with Al Rosenblum about some stuff that I needed to talk about..And God is a god of healing,encouragement,love and etc... Last night Al talked to me about "the lies" satan often tries to use on us..For example: "You're not good enough anymore...God can't use you now, you're loose change to him"
That ones has been the one that hit me,personally, the hardest.
It's not that I believed it, but I second guessed..Is is partially true?
We talked about how to fight against those lies..And it's all about faith. Confronting those lies....The basic stuff. Gosh..It really hit me that.................
Although I've screwed up...And some know that I screwed up big time..But that doesn't mean that I am out of the race just yet..I mean I'm still alive...Soo that means that God CAN still use me..Thats been a hard piece of meat to chew on, but I think I got it...Hargis is a great example of God using me..Those kids are absouletly amazing..I've given the Gospel to those kids every week and they've been soo excited to have "values times" (is what devotion time is called) and they soak it all up.. They love to learn about the Lord and I love teaching it..God IS using me...I'm not damaged goods..I just keep praying that God continues to teach me and mold me..I am His........I am a tool...He is good

House

Today, Miss. Chigger talked about the song "Big House" to the kids this morning. And it was really neat to see it explained in detail.
I don't looove the song, but it's fun to sing with the kids.
Come and go with me
To my Fathers House
Come and go with me, to my Fathers House
It's a big big house
with lots and lots of room
A big big table
with lots and lots of food
A big big yard
where we can play football(touchdown!)
It's my Fathers House

Carrie had one of the kids explain what the song meant..
And, in simple terms, said
"It's heaven!"
But also when we accept Jesus Christ into our hearts
we go to our Fathers house..We become apart of the family; the body.
We go and he provides us with food,shelter, fun stuff..
I often forget how much he takes care of me. His love is overflowing and abundant in grace. I can't remember how my life was before Him. I'm always learning about my Father..And I think me being here(in AL) has taught me a whole lot. I know that I am here for a reason and I just pray that even though I get home sick, that He may be glorified. I continue to pray for strength and guidence. I need Him more than ever and I need to constantly be hungry for Him..

Children

Recently, I moved to Trussville, Alabama, to work at a day camp for kids. It's a Christian-Judeo centered camp..Anyhow. I've worked now for One week and two days, It's been crazy and fun and exhausting...All of that put aside..It's the children that are amazing. I wrote a long journal about this last night and it's still on my mind, so bear with me.
I watch these kids, and they play and laugh, run, scream, cry, they are full of joy! Just from observation, children have this..natural drive..When I'm dragging at around 9am..They are just getting started, it's like, forget about having to get up at 6am, LETS GO!..They also hold a sacred piece of innocence.
That is what has been on my mind.
It's amazing as children how we see the world. I remember thinking my daddy was perfect! and my mom was a supermodel.. My grandma could do no wrong in the world and nothing went wrong in the world..Except when I didn't get my way. But when reality sets in, and we as children now have to think like adults is when we lose some sort of...."thing"...We realize daddy isn't perfect,mommy is mommy, grandma uses internet dating..Ya know it all comes out and it's not what you expected..As a child that is..
But isn't that life..It's not what we expect but God already expects and knows..
Back the children...
The kids at Hargis..They are soo great..My brothers and sister, they are even better..
I don't know where I was going with this...Alot of this is me recapping my childhood..and its me Jumbling it up in my head.. I just miss that innocence. But everything happens for a reason in Gods plan..Jumbling again..

John 10

I wrote this in a journal of mine....
November 5, 2006

Tonight I'm reading the book of JOhn. I love JOhn for many reasons. Tonight just going back and reading chapter 10, it really clears my head. I say that beacause in the begining of chapter 10, Jesus is talking about the Jews. He is telling them about the Shepherd and His Flock.. He begins by saying

"I tell you the truth, the man who
does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but
climbs in by some other way, is
a theif and a robber."

I was just applying that to my life..And how I was thinking of a future mate. All of these "guys" that have, essentially, entered my heart(gate) in a way that was not by God, they were theives. They stole pieces of my heart and decieved me. They were not of God, definately not men of God by any means. But they came into my heart and lead me astray. Mind you I was not innocent in this either.....
But it's neat to see God's word applied in my life..

I wrote this many months ago..And it seems as if it will always be true. I just pray that God will continue to refine me...

Soo I'm here in McKean,PA...I love the laughter coming from the other room..April on the phone, Phillip talking,"Bill Gates!" said Ethan, and Ali Shamsher laughing randomly..It all makes me smile..Here are some hilarious photos that April and I took this afternoon..I hope you enjoy! They're pretty funny...Real funny......HA...See funny! Okay I'm done..Love you all..

Patience

Everyone always tells me that praying for patience is "REALLY something to pray for"...Well "they" were right..Gosh it was been on my heart soo much lately and it has been really hard. Recently it seems like God has made these amazing things happen around me and my reaction is nothing. Yes I am sooo amazingly excited that my closest friends are getting married..I truly am, I can't believe how blessed they are. And then Satan steps in and stabs me where it hurts the worse. I hate feeling that I don't measure up to these amazing women that God is blessing..And I know better, man do I know better. I guess what I am saying is that, YES I am super excited that everyone is getting engaged/married, BUT at the same time I am feeling a little insecure. WHICH I KNOW is stupid because God has something stored up for me..Mybe not a man but something other than that..Something that will please Him soo much..And really that is all I want. I want to be the woman that He needs me to be. And if that means being single and being available then thats the way it's gotta be. I really want to glorify HIm through all of this, and I know I've been failing here and there but I've gotta keep my eyes on Him and not the world. This reminds me of the song Only You..
Only You can fill my heart with laughter
Only You can answer my hearts cry
OHh how true that is..He will always know..And my prayer has been for Him to keep revieling himself to me..SooI can make it through all of this..Even though it is hard I know where my heart needs to be..

God in this Place

It's always amazing when we find ourselves trying to take control of life's situations..When really it's Gods plan. Recentally Amy and I have been struggling with trying to find a place to live. First and foremost I am soooo stubborn and I seem to think that I can handle everything.. Like, I don't need God right now, I've got it all under control...When really I didn't. I wasn't spending time with the Lord daily and I wasn't praying, and if i was praying I would try and take over again. I've gotta say..When I finally stopped being bullheaded and prayed and gave everything to the Lord, it felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders..And I realized that God is in control... It's funny sometimes when I come to realize some of these things cuz it's the same stuff I have known for years..but yet I am still stubborn to it..I know now that it was a test and God really showed me that being stubborn really has to stop..:) SOo but anyway I just wanted to vent and blah blah blah..

Nobody's got it all together

I love Jill Phillips new CD..And I love this song in paticular..

Daily Bread

There’s a restlessness in the soul of man
Nobody’s tamed it yet
You never fail to keep any promises
But somehow we forget
That you’re always right on time
You feed us all with a silver spoon
And like your foolish kids
We start worrying about what we’re gonna do
When the hunger comes again

But you’re always right on time
With an open hand
You have exactly what I need
Daily bread Daily bread

You have the wisdom and the patience
We need the grace to see it clear
Too soon and we take it all for granted
Too late is more than we can bear

So you’re always right on time
With an open hand
You have exactly what I need
Daily bread Daily bread Daily bread

Fathers Day

Its Fathers Day and I am sitting in my apartment getting ready to take a nap...Then all of a sudden I think to myself, I should blog. Like I said it is Fathers Day and I'm still a little bitter that my dad, stepmom, and the kids are all at Kings Island and I'm not with them. I got over it when my dad and I hung out last weekend and then today after church I saw everyone talking and saying "When are we meeting at mom and dads?" " Are we going to Longhorn?" and Debi Comer showing me what she is giving from Caleb to Pat for Fathers Day...Sam Roddy asked me what I was doing today and I told her I would probably go home and sleep and do whatever. And of course because I am a girl I started crying. YOu don't realize how much you love or miss your parents until you get older and they are not around as much. Last night I was remebering when I was a little girl and I used to play with my little ponys on the dinner table, and this one time my dad came up and scared me and picked me up and tickled me. I don't know why I thought about that, but I did. I miss my daddy...... I think now that I am older and I'm starting to realize that my dad isn't saved and I'm afraid to talk to him about it..I've been missing him a lot lately..I think God is telling me something pertaining to my dad but I can't put my finger on it. GOSH I wish he and my stepmom could come out and hang out with some of the people from church and get to know them and see how awesome it is.. Now if I could only get them to come to camp! That would be awesome.. Sorry this was really really random but my dad has really been on my heart and I miss and love him.. I ask you all who read this if you could please pray for him and my stepmom that would be awesome.. I love you all and thanks for letting me share all of my sappyness to you..

#4..."Awkward Silence"

I have found my #4.... If you can recall from my last post I didn't know what to write for #4.. And then it hit me the other day..Awkward Silence. I have had many conversations with Nathan Johnson about my chronic awkward silence problem. "HI, my name is Victoria Leber, and I am an Awkward silence starter." Yep thats right.. I seem to start awkward silence..Not on purpose but........naturally. For example when I am at work, I always introduce myself and then.......awkward silence..here's an example.
Me: "Hello, good morning!"
Patient: "Hi"
Me: "My name is Victoria and I'm here to take you down to the pre-op holding area"
Patient: ( silence)
Me: " okay....well we're ready to go."

You see they have nothing to say because I leave that awkwardness and they really can't say anything..but there are many other instances outside of work.. Like when I hold conversations with new people..especially at church.. It's always Hey I'm Vickie ..I'm JOe.. then I walk away cuz I have created the akward silence.. Ohh and I went to Caribou Coffee and this guy and another guy were talking , and he too was an awkward silence starter..But he was much better at trying to start up another conversation..But yeah soo that is my #4..and thats it...........

Ohh Man

Well, I do realize that I haven't posted in a while.. And a LOT of things have happened since the last post. #1 Thank you all for the prayer..I definetly saw a difference.. #2 Animal issues surfaced. #3 laughter beyond belief..#4 ????.. Let me elaborate. I'll start with #2, becuase #1 is self-explanitory.. Animal Issues..on Friday morning on the 28th of April.. I walked out of my Apartment at around 6:10 am to go to work.. When I open the door I see a huge Oppossum on the front porch.. I shut the door and I had to sit a think a minute. Now I am going to recap something that happened earlier that morning. When I woke up I heard a scratching and another wierd noise in our basement window. The basement window is a fire escape "pit" as I like to call it. Soo putting the 2 things together, Oppossum randomly on my front porch and wierd noise.. Yes my friends, there was a baby Oppossum stuck in the fire"pit" escape window..Yeah and the Mommy Oppossum had 8 babies all over her! Ehggck Minus the one in the pit but it was gross.. To end the story my roomate Nikki climed down in the pit and got it out and put it in a box.. That night it was gone soo.. We don't really know what happened to the baby Oppossum..Thats not all of the animal issues. The next day, which would be the 29th of April. Amy was looking in one of her bags near her bed and saw, a few ants crawling on it.. She picks up the bag and they are allllll overrrr the place! So we looked under her bed and they are swarming under it.. Ehhhhhhh yeah needless to say I had soo much sympathy for amy.. We sprayed spider killer on them then we kind of got high off of that.. haha no but we did feel burning sensations in our nose/throats. Anyway soo they were all dead.. Well we had to vaccuum them all up. We don't have a vaccuum. So we had to borrow the neighbors vaccuum.. It was a huge mess. That weekend was crazy! #3 Laughter..Amy and I are really .......... random. Afrer all of that animal mess, we laughed about it.. Ohh and last night amy started laughing at her fart and then laughed until she cried for nooooo reason.. That probably lasted ohh, about 5 mins. It was really funny:0...And the other night.. We re-recorded our voicemail messages and those are reallly funny.. I reccomend you call both of our phones to listen to the voicemail message. Soo if you know us and you really want to call let me or amy know.. Also my message has another message within it and its bad, but HILARIOUS!!! Soo we laughed really hard about that. #4 i don't know what 4 is about ..maybe that'll be my next post.. Alright guys I am tired of posting and I have laundry to do! Love you all and have a good WEEKEND!!
-and remeber the voicemail message:)

I'm busy,stressed, and in need of Prayer

Just a side note: this past weekend was amazing! We had the Girls Retreat at Buckeye Lake and it was incredible. God really showed me how much I want to reach out more to these girls and also to the missions field. Which brings me to my stress... I am in school right now and I want to stay in school. But I also want to travel and do more missions stuff. Plus I knew that when I started back to school I would miss doing the things I could do when I wasn't in school.. Like church on WEd, hanging out randomly throughout the week and on weekends. But those are the sacrifices we have to make in life when it comes to school..Soo I guess what I am trying to say is that i really need prayer in my motivation for continuing school. But we'll see how it goes and what the Lord will do . unitl another time..

Me,God, and a Cup O Joe

I know it's been a while since I've last posted.. But I've decided to share something new with all of you..Well it's not really new, but it is something I did want to share. The landlord was coming today between 3:30 and 4:30 pm.. Sooo for that hour I had to figure out what I was going to do. Here were my options : Target, Drive a around, Old Navy, pretty much shopping.. And then I thought, ehh I don't really want to spend money and I would much rather do something productive. So I grabbed my Bible and my notebook and I headed over to Cup O Joe and I had some One on One with my Lord.. I went over my notes and studied and I sat and paused a couple of times.. Thinking wow. I looked over Philippians and Hebrews and some other passages.. But I was looking at Philippians 4:19, and How God will supply all of our needs and being content with what we have. Also being content with what God supplies us with in our lives (see how they go together..eh eh ) ...Even though we say we need a new pair of shoes or we really want to move somewhere or what ever, it all depends on God. And if we don't get those shoes or move somewhere, it's a matter of still being content and still being happy with what God has already provided for us. How many times have I found myself upset or selfish because I didn't get what I wanted or because someone else was blessed with something that I wanted. God really showed me how much I've grown out of that. Sure, sometimes I do get jealous and I'm not content with some of the things that I have but the Lord has really taught me and diciplined me. Then I go back to , wow. He is an amazing God and to see how much he loves his children ; to watch them grow, and mature and see them grow closer to him. All of this over a cup of coffee... He is good............................................... and Thats all I've got..

The Plague

So I have been stricken with a so-called plague (as Nate Johnson would put it)... And it really really stinks. I have a crappy head cold and yes... Pink eye. Ahh the joys...But being sick really makes you realize how hilariously pathetic you can be.. For example: When I get migraines, its all down hill. I start off hunching over and my eyes are squinty. Then I start to become whinny. Ohh does amy hate that (haha).. But you get my drift. There are some things we do, that we only do, when we are sick.. So now being sick I've had a hoarse voice and I lose it from time to time.. I get mad. Almost frustrated cuz I can't talk.. But its kind of funny cuz when I get irratated and worked up, my nose will start running.. Soo I'm like " Uhh I hate that I can't talk!!!...................Oh crap" (blow nose blow nose).. Soo even though my 2 day experience of being sick has really sucked.. It has also been comical. And just a side note I am not writting all of this to gain any pitty.... But to make notice of how you can take a poopy situation and turn it for the funny. I love you all and stay non-plague stricken!

Leadership Camp

Leadership Camp was great.. Thanks to all of the speakers,leaders, and everyone one who went.. Christ is amazing.. To see how everyone was encouraged and grew was soo cool.. It was nice to fellowship with everyone but it was also great to grow and learn how to be a leader.. Mark 1:17
"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "And I will make you fishers of men."

I've got Nothin

Yeah I don't really know what to post but I know I haven't posted in a while.....Sunday Night Amy and I went to the Copeland,Starting Line,Cartel, and Suicide Pact Show.. It was really good! OHh and this weekend I will be heading out to Alabama for Leadership Camp!! I am very excited to go!!! It will be a great experience. Well like I said not a whole lot to say but I needed to post..